I THINK MY BRAIN IS FULL

I’m in love.

Strong words, I know. I’ve bandied them about at times, not meaning them, but this is one of the few times I’ve meant it.

I love my girlfriend. Obviously. She’s awesome. Anyone that’s met her knows this to be true, as she’s probably told them. And meant it. And been right. I love food. It’s brilliant. It fuels me and tastes good. These are proper loves that I hold dear to my heart. But I have a new love.

Larry David.

Now, I’m not normally one to fall in love with churlish old bald Jews, but he’s cast some sort of sexual spell over me and I can’t deny that I love him. Love him. Look at his face:

He’s probably thinking something like “What do you want from me?”. His eyes are filled with condescending glee. His body language is closed and defensive. He’s basically reveling in how much better than everyone else he is. And rightly so. Larry David is a genius.

I’ll admit, I never particularly liked Seinfeld. It was OK, but not as earth-shatteringly funny as everyone made it out to be. But Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry’s latest work, is truly a thing of beauty and makes owning a television a worthwhile thing to do.

What makes it so brilliant is simple. It’s real. I know it’s all improvised acting, inspired by his little story outlines. I know it’s fiction. But it’s real. Many of the situations are familiar. Little, everyday things, that the real Larry experiences. He’s been blessed with the ability to relive those situations, but with the power to go back to the people that irritated him and say what he really wanted to say. It’s, to all intents and purposes, therapy. I’m sure it’s very cathartic to be able to step back into a situation and release the incredible come-backs you thought of, five minutes after the event, missing the chance to drop them, bomb-like, at people’s feet. All while staring them in the eye and smirking at them in a mocking-fashion.

Let’s face it, Curb Your Enthusiasm portrays a man that is exactly how we’d all like to be. Someone entirely unafraid of rebuttal, of consequence and of political-correctness. A man that lets the little demon in the back of his head speak freely, without worry for how people might react. That, devoted readers, is called ‘freedom’. Now, don’t worry, I’m not going to get all preachy about what man should and shouldn’t be entitled to do. That’s not my schtick at all.

But, just for a moment, imagine you could be that way.

CYE has now finished its sixth season. There’s been mention of another to follow, and a possibility of another few years of comedy gold. If there’s not to be any more, I’ll probably squirrel myself off to the mountains and live the rest of my life in a wooden shack, in tears. Not only has the show brought me and millions of other people joy, it’s also saved a man from the death penalty. No kidding. In 2003, a man was cleared of murder (that’s one of the bad crimes) after footage of him, not seen in the show, was found on the Curb cutting floor, proving he was nowhere near where someone thought he was, killing someone. That saved him from an untimely death.

Larry David saved his life. One day, I’d like to be able to say the same. Until then, I’ll just have to look at his dreamy face and wish I could be as AWESOME as him.