In what can only be described as a great injustice, I have just learned that any overtime done in the second half of the month is not included in that month’s pay. Which means I’ve just worked for three weeks straight with no weekends and won’t be getting the money I earned until the following […]
The internet is brilliant, and rubbish. Much like a child that was born with brain damage, it can entertain you and sadden you in equal measures.
I shall be conducting an experiment in the coming months. I will register on no less than 10 internet forums, all completely unconnected, and attempt to have myself banned from […]
Zezi Ifore, the current host of C4’s Big Brother’s Little Brother, is a disgusting man beast and should not be allowed to work on television. Or radio. Or Earth.
Now, I don’t mind admitting that I watch Big Brother. It’s entertaining, as I like to see the worst examples of humanity humiliate themselves on a daily […]
Apparently a fire in Houston, Texas, took out hosting of 9000 servers held by The Planet, including the one hosting b3ta.com.
Good.
I’m imagining a lot of fat, ugly people with too much time and too few social skills on their hands going into a mass, gravy stained panic.
Great fortune.
I walked out of my flat this morning to see that there was a note war going on in the hallway.
One of my neighbours had left a note to ‘the dick’ to complain about something he’d done, which he in turn left a note to, which argued his point, then said at the bottom “why […]
…but who has them?
According to a popular Australian myth, everybody needs good neighbours. My neighbour is a dick. Not just a dick, but a short, withered dick with a serious attitude problem. When I first moved in, on my second day in the flat, he weakly knocked on the door and asked me, without even […]
Naomi Campbell went mental on a plane. On the one hand, I think this is awesome, as I love to watch celebrities breaking down. Fabulous stuff.
On the other hand, I think she should be locked up, as she’s a massive nutter.
Here’s the story, via the BBC.
One of the headlines I saw on one of […]
I really don’t like the idea of some Scottish midget rifling through my shit.
Gillian McKeith, nutritionist to the stars (and the criminally fat) is not someone that is deserving of the celebrity status she now commands. This poisonous dwarf is making life a misery for those of us that like a good munch.
Look at her. […]
Hello, people of the internet. No doubt you’ve stumbled across this page because you’re either:
A) A well read and intelligent person.
B) Searching for pictures of Britney Spears in a straight jacket.
C) Not very good at clicking the right link.
Either way, you’re here now and you’re getting in the way. Stand in the corner and listen […]
I dislike cars. Which is odd, because I love Pimp My Ride. Where else can you watch a useful, albeit near-destroyed car carcass turned into a useless, yet attractive living room-on-wheels? Nowhere. Below is an image of a car that parks up near where I live. I see it most days. It’s an abomination, to […]
Hooray! Porn sites have started to spam my comments. It’s brilliant. I can catch them before they ever appear, because I’m not a fucking idiot.
So, a word to anyone trying to post porn spam:
Don’t bother. I’m recording and blocking your IPs, you spastics.
BYE!
Keira Knightley, professional skeleton and part-time coat stand has been dead for the last four years. Her emaciated body is actually controlled from the inside by a six inch tall primordial dwarf called Martin, who uses an intricate set up of levers and pulleys to animate her corpse in the style you’ve become accustomed to. […]
Everyone is a big fan of something. Me? I love Curb Your Enthusiasm, I’m Alan Partridge and pissing on the parades of the self assured and insecure. You’re probably a big fan of me, because I’m really awesome. In fact, you probably go around telling people the address of this site, whilst quoting some of […]
I really don’t like Will Ferrell.
Really. He’s probably one of the most avidly watched actors in the world today. Millions of people turn out to watch his movies. He’s the actor equivalent of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Will Ferrell makes the same film over and over again and still coins it in.
It’s probably your […]
Hello you.
I’m growing increasingly concerned with a trend in popular music. Red Hot Chili Peppers Syndrome. It’s been happening for a long time now and it has to stop. Artists like the Chili Peppers, amongst others, are mocking their fans by releasing the same album over and over again, barely changing the songs and rejigging […]